A Good Dose of Nothing

Christmas is behind us, and we are already 4 days into the new year.

2012.

The kids have went back to school today, and we are slowly getting back into our busy lifestyle. This past couple of weeks was an absolute blessing to me. James took off work, the kids were home, and we spent lots of time together...doing nothing. Nothing can mean lots of things to different people. But our week of nothing included playing games, cooking together, snuggling on the couch with blankets, watching movies, having fun, laughing. A good dose of doing nothing together is needed for all families...in my honest opinion. We didn't get a lot of things done around the house....like we initially planned....but we realized that we made memories. And that is the best think I can think of to check off my To Do list. =)

We have a  pretty long To Do list....but today, I am thankful that we didn't mark much off of it this past couple of weeks....and we spent some quality time together. =) The list isn't going any where. But our kids are growing up...right before our eyes. Time well spent<3

3/366

My new car tag....that the boys got me for Christmas =) James put it on the van today;) Looks Good... Thanks Guys! This is for you, Macey, "It's Great to be a part of the Tribe!" ;)                               

Day 2/366

Today was the first "sign" of snow....Macey and Cade were so excited!! They put on their coats, and hats and headed outside....=)

Project 365? plus one....

This is something I have wanted to do for a few years, and just didn't think that I would follow through with it....But this year, I have decided to do it. And I am going to post my daily picture on my blog...a sort of accountability thing for me =) I plan on taking one photograph every day, that "wraps up" our day, so to speak. I plan on monthly, compiling all of the pictures into an album, and at the end of the year, I hope to have one picture for each day of 2012. A personal goal for me. I hope to capture some of our every day moments. I am going to allow cell phone pictures as well because I know there are sometimes that I may not be able to use my camera, but I always have my cell phone. Trying to make this little personal goal of mine as reachable as possible. So for the first day of 2012, what better picture to post....that of my church. Starting the new year of right. Worshipping our Lord <3

Where do You want to be 5 Years from now?

I have been to a couple of interviews here lately in my search for the perfect job...lol...and this is a question that every one seems to ask.

Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?

and it really got to me. It was during an interview that I had today. I didn't post anything about this interview, or the previous 2 I have had. Because I just don't "feel" like I am where I am supposed to be..

.I have never been closer to God than during the days I spent in Haiti this past January....and during that time I know what He said to me...He called me "out of nursing". So for me to continuously work as a nurse, kills me. I have bills, and nursing is what pays them. But I am SO unhappy there... I want more than anything to be doing what my heart knows I should be doing....but this thing called fear. uncertainty. lack of faith. Seem to keep my feet planted right where I am. So frustrating. I sometimes wonder how I spent so many years, just doing what I do. Working, sleeping, taking kids to all of the places they had to be, and never think about God's plan for me. Never consider that I maybe should be doing something Bigger. Not so self centered. Putting others first. Sharing His Love with those who haven't met Him yet. <3

I honestly don't think it is a coincidence that I have applied for 5 or so nursing jobs...and haven't gotten one of them. He knows where He wants me. I wish he would just make this path a little easier. I think my health situation this summer was a wake up call to a lot of things....He IS in control. But I just want the answers now. I am not a patient person. I usually try to be positive on my blog, and my facebook page...but today...it's just not really there...Just really wanting answers. Now. So today is a blah day for me.

So, Where do I want to be in 5 years? Honestly? I have no idea.Five years from now...Ian will be 19, Macey 17, and Cade 13...Wow....I want to be in His Will.  I am open to just about anything. I just want to be doing life for my Lord. Serving in the mission field....whether it is Africa, or my community that I live in now. Five years from now, I don't want to look back and say....I wish I had just had the Faith to go. Faith to do what I know in my heart I was supposed to.

That interview I mentioned...I actually was offered the opportunity to work there. But the entire day today...had this feeling that it's not where I am supposed to be. So. I am just a girl. Praying for direction. Wanting more than anything to be where I am supposed to be. <3

God is putting things together

Have had a lot on my mind the past few days...and now that I am finally off work for a few days, thought I would make an attempt to get it down.

My sister was in this weekend. Was so glad to see her even though the time seemed to pass so quickly. She shared her testimony with our Sunday School class, and also spoke during the service. I am so proud of her<3 We have been through so very much together, over the years. But I think the year 2011 goes down in the books. It has been so difficult for her and her precious children. My problems don't even seem to compare. I have had my fair share of rough "stuff" this year, but even during my hard times, my sister was my rock. She had been through so much herself, but always seemed to find a way to make me feel better. Lift me up. Make me smile. And for that, I am thankful. I so wish I could take away all of the hurt that she has had to experience. It just doesn't seem fair. Happiness is hard to come by in this world. I pray for her and her children daily. God is in control. I know that. Tonight is just one of those nights where it is just so difficult to understand.  I Love you Kristie...More than you know<3

Work has gotten to me lately. I know I should be thankful for a job. I am. I promise. But...When you feel that God is calling you to do something else. It is so difficult to keep on "keeping on" for lack of a better way to say it. I feel like I am doing the same thing over and over and getting nowhere. Crazy? Probably to some. But I really don't know a better way to explain it. Worrying and anxiety are still things I deal with because of the aneurysm "event"....Just a lot on my mind and in my heart...Sometimes its overwhelming. Today was one of those days. Emotionally...spent.

Amazing to me that I was feeling this way today, pulled out my phone and checked my facebook...and there were two posts there from two different friends...about this VERY thing. God is up to something, I know it. One was a devotion titled, Are you tired of Waiting on God?...Really? With the verse....Isaiah 40:31, “But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”<3 The other was the quote...."When everything seems to be falling apart, that is when God is putting things together, just the way He wants them"<3

Struggling with some things, praying, and hoping to "get it right". Thankful He is opening my eyes. Praying to see life through His Eyes. Daily.  Knowing He wants to use me to help share His love. Blessed with so much. <3

Is God in it?

Haven't blogged in a while...This work thing seems to be taking up a lot of my free time...I am not a big fan of it. Ha ha...but I do know that God has given me this opportunity to help us financially at a time when we need it. So I simply do my best not to complain. =)

Couple things on my mind. Nothing deep...Just needed to get it out. My children are involved in a number of sports. Football. Cheerleading. Wrestling. One thing that completely makes me crazy is to be sitting at one of these events, and listening to the people around me. I honestly wish I could turn my ears off. But I can't. All of the voices around me. Negativity. Seriously. I was at the ball game the other night, and heard a parent comparing our cheer team to the other cheer team. In a negative way. Even stated that this was the first game that they brought their family to, and they were "embarrassed". Hmmmm. I am not impressed. This almost triggered a letter to the editor from me. But then, I thought better of it. Just decided to vent on my blog...Not as many readers...lol...But When your children are involved in something~no matter what it is. Why would you do something to bring them down? I have one child with self esteem issues anyway. Why would I say something negative about them? Kids in our nation today have so much going on in their lives, so much negative from everyone else. Why would they need it from their parents? I just don't get it. We may not be the best cheer team in the city. But my daughter is on the team, and I am proud of her. For who she is. What she stands for. And her cheering skills are pretty good to me! All of the girls did an exceptional job as far as I am concerned. I don't tend to compare to others though. I sure am glad God doesn't do that. If we were compared to some of the great men and women of God out there. I am sure that a lot of us wouldn't measure up. That is one of my little issues of the week...

The other one is....why can't people just get along? When you work with someone~don't make it so difficult to get along. I like to avoid conflict, but the best way to do that is keep your mouth shut. =) Not always the best at that one personally...but if you remove yourself from a situation where there is conflict...You definitley will be better off for it. Don't get in the middle of it. Don't take sides. Just thing about how Jesus would handle the situation. Pray. and Stay out of it. Enough Said. =)

I am very opinionated. I feel strongly about certain things. I just want my kids to learn what matters in life. To be vessels for God. Learn to face problems alone..You don't have to "fit in". It is better to be yourself. Than be like everyone else. .Knowing that even though they feel alone-that God is on their side. Praying about this a lot this week.

God is working on my heart. In more ways than one. I have made a conscious effort to pull away from photography for the past couple of months. I don't want to DO something if it isn't what I think God has planned for me. Funny thing is...Photography keeps coming up. Over and OVER....So, I am going to try it again. It doesn't pay the bills. It doesn't get me into Mission work(yet anyway;) that is so where my heart is right now) I can't depend on it 100%. But my heart is filled when I have a camera in my hand. I love the feeling of running through a field with a child to capture that perfect laugh. I love the feeling of seeing family photos in the homes of my friends. That fills my heart. I was sharing this with a friend the other day...and she said, But How do you feel when you are doing photography? I honestly have thought about that. Alot. I get a high when I do a session. I get back into the car, smiling, flipping through my camera...to see what images I like the most. I drive home with my windows down. Praise music playing. Smiling. Happy. Is God in it? Yes. As long as I continue to give it ALL to Him. The name of my business says it all~His Eyes Photography. I want to see the world through His Eyes. If it takes me picking up my camera again to do that. I am ready. <3 Details to come soon.

He is Able to do All things<3