Let It Go

These words are so easy to say.

But although it is a simple statement, the action behind it=Difficult.

I know that God has a plan for me, I know that He is in control of all the stuff that is going on around me. But knowing something and actually acting on it are two totally different things.

God speaks. I have always known this, but I absolutely have never heard Him, like I have in the past few months. I am amazed at how everything I read, everything I hear on the radio, ALL seems to be saying the same thing...LET IT GO...Trust Him, He is in Control, He has a plan for you...The funniest little things...=) I was reading a fellow bloggers site, and she was doing a giveaway...a book about...guess what...Following God's will...Trusting Him...the general topic of my heart as of late...I thought, I will enter this...sounds like a good read....Yes, you guessed it...I won...I NEVER win anything...I have read 5 books in the past month...all talking about the same thing...One book, I got as a Christmas gift, before I ever went to Haiti...Sermons at church, Sunday School lessons...We even went to see Bob Smiley, a Christian comedian...When he was closing his performance...He spoke on following your dream, using your talents...I cried...at a comedy...I know He is speaking..Why it is so hard to simply obey? I guess the biggest thing is fear...Financial concern...Not wanting to put stress on my family, worry over instability? What if? I know, I know...Other people have had these same feelings...The Isrealites? Leaving Egypt...not knowing where they were going or what was going to happen.....Abraham? Took his son, led him up a mountain...to sacrifice him...not knowing why...just obeying...Noah? Build an ark?that sounded crazy...Why? But he obeyed....Jonah? He really wanted to do things His way...tried it..not such a great way to end up...in the belly of a whale...David? A little guy...fighting a giant? Seems Impossible...God is calling me "out of Nursing"...and to pursue something He gave me a heart for. Doors have opened.One by One. He keeps telling me to Let it Go. I am very OCD. I like things to be in my control. I am not a fan of someone telling me what to do. Ask James ;) I like to plan it out, be in charge, and do it my way. So for God to ask me to Let Go of my job..without a stable income...seems crazy to me..but when I put it in perspective...I would think that Noah, David, and Jonah probably thought the same thing....

So today, I laid down my OCD tendencies...hee hee..I drove a different route to work, I parked in a different parking spot, walked in a different way to the hospital, and took a different set of stairs.... I have worked as a nurse at the same hospital for more or less 15 years. I ALWAYS do the same routine. Never change it. EVER. Today I did. And it felt good. =) It was just a sign to me that I can do this. Change is hard, but won't kill me. I want to obey Him, follow Him with everything in me. I know this is what He wants me to do. So today, I told my manager about my plan. Letting Go, so I can Let God =) Loving Him more each and every day...God Bless.

Clear Eyes, Full Heart, Can't Lose

One of mine and James favorite television shows is Friday Night Lights...We have watched it for almost 5 years now...and last night was the final episode...I sat there watching, crying the entire time...It's almost as if we know these characters personally...I feel that Coach Taylor and his wife, Tami, Tim Riggins, Matt Sarason....all of our favorite characters seem so real. No,

I haven't lost my mind...I know they are just actors. But the characters they play, the serious problems that they are dealing with ARE real.

The Rest of the Story... =)

Ok..I think I am finally ready to write everything that has been going on my life down...I think =) I am at least going to make an effort...

In a previous post, I wrote about how I feel that God is leading me into a different career path...A path that is uncertain, not financially "stable" and something that I am going to have to do on my own-with God's guidance, of course. We serve an amazing God. What better way to start this story, than to praise my King. I have always prayed, I have always spent time in my Bible. But not like I should. Not expecting answers. Not really expecting anything. Just doing it out of habit, or simply "it's the right thing to do"....I am sure some of you know what I mean. But I intentionally made a change after my trip to Haiti. I was in a country where chaos was iminent, sickness was everywhere, and I felt helpless. He was there, and I talked to Him all the time. At night, when I couldn't sleep, I prayed. When I was in tears, thinking about God's will for my life, I prayed. When I needed to find peace, I found it in His word...It is sort of sad that it has always been there, but it took this trip for me to "figure it out" for a lack of better words....And now, I wake up in the mornings, and spend my time with Him first. Before doing anything else. He is doing some pretty awesome things in my life, and I NEED to learn to depend on Him in all things. Working on that one daily =) I say all that, so I can "tell my story"...Much prayer, and reading God's word have went into this desicion. I know it's what God wants me to do. So here goes.....

After I spoke with my friend, concerning my heart for photography, I truly started praying about this. I don't want to make photography what I THINK God wants, just because of my passion for it. So, I didn't take this subject lightly...One Sunday night after the service, a week after I gave my testimony about Haiti, a gentleman wanted to talk with James and I. I was standing with friends, making plans for our regular Sunday night coffee, and this gentleman was standing over the side, obviously wanting to speak with me. I immediately gave him my attention, and what he had to say, blew my mind. (Mind you, the previous week, I had asked God to throw the answer I was looking for in my lap...God if you want me to step out of this boat, and into the water of the unknown-Give me an answer. A billboard? Phone call? LOL...I was seriously praying specifically-If you want me to give up nursing, and jump 100% into photography. Tell me. I need to know) This gentleman, I have never spoken to before. I have seen him in church before, but didn't even know his name. He said, "Cassie, I know you don't know me, and you may think this is crazy. But the Lord has layed something on my heart-ever since I heard your testimony last week, about you feeling God leading you out of nursing...I can't get you out of my mind. This is just something for you to pray about. Talk with James about. Consider. But, I have this house, that is empty, and has been for 3 years. I have tried to sell it and haven't been able to, and I want to know if you would be interested in using it for your photography business?" Really. Is this my Billboard? But then the human side of me thinks, this is too good to be true. People aren't this way. There aren't random "empty houses" sitting around, I don't know this man, Why would he do something like this?....so, I thank him for his offer, tell him we will pray about it, and go on our way...

James and I spent the next two days talking about this, praying about it, truly feeling that God is in it. We had actually been looking at a few places to consider renting for a studio/viewing area...We have lots of ideas. James is wanting to make some pictures frames for me (that are absolutely beautiful, by the way) and we are hoping to incorporate those into our business....Ideas. Ideas. Ideas. I have papers full of stuff that I have thought of since I have began praying specifically. So we decide to call this genteman and talk "details". James talks with him for a good hour, he gives us the address, and the key, we plug the address into our GPS, and head that way. It's not the "location" I would choose, but I am learning everyday that God's plan is WAY better than mine. I just have to be sure to keep HIM in the center of EVERY desicion...We pull into the driveway. James and I look at each other. AMAZED. Why would it be anything else? I prayed for something. God answers. Why would I expect anything less? Not sure. But I immediately felt His prescence. This is it. Do it. I will be with you the entire way. Words can't express. I am even teary-eyed while I am typing this. One more thing, and I will wrap this mini novel up....We are looking inside the house, checking out "things" like paint, talking "business" so to speak, and I walk into the very back room of the house. The one that would need the most work. Wallpaper peeling, ect. This house is empty mind you. Nothing in it. Zilch. Zero. But in this very back room, there is one thing. Are you ready for this? Get ready, because it is amazing. The one thing that is in this house is......a tripod.....A camera tripod!!! I yelled at James to come look at the room I was standing it...and he said, "Is that what I think it is?"...We both took that as yet another confirmation that we are in God's will....

So, to make a very long story short. (if you ask me to tell you about it in person-I would love to =) We have looked at the house two times. Took my parents to look at it. We feel that's where God wants this Business...HIS business...Because I am giving it to Him. My entire heart has changed about photography. When I look through the lens of the camera, I want to see people as He sees them. I want to capture what He sees. He LOVES us. He died for us, and I just want to share that with as many people as I can. If photographing their families gives me a way to do that. I am on board! =)

So, We met with this gentleman this past week. He doesn't have a plan specifically. We don't either. It's in God's hands. But we have an agreement. I am excited. I am scared, because fear of the unknown is human.  Bills still have to be paid, life must go on...But to know that I am in HIS will...after all of these years of fighting it...Peace...=)  But I know that God is with us, my husband supports me, and believes in me. So we are going for it!

One thing I want to add, and then I am finished for now...It didn't hit us until sometime this past week....The gentleman that has made us this offer, had no idea that I was going to change the name of my business to His Eyes Photography. This man is legally blind. We serve an amazing God.

Amazing graceHow sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine
You are forever mine

Closer To You

Funny how things just "happen" in our lives...Things that we pray for...and then we stand back and act surprised...or shocked...That we prayed for something...and it actually happened...

I can't even begin to put down the number of things that have been going on in my life and the life of my families as of late that we are calling "God things"...I find that the more time I am spending in His word, and praying, growing closer to Him...the more things I can "see"....I listen to music differently, the songs that I have heard over and over on our christian radio station...just seem to pop out at me...I am in constant amazement....Our God is an amazing God...He wants a personal relationship with us. I know that. I have been raised in church. I grew up with this stuff. But until the past few weeks, realized that "knowing isn't doing"....We can know things all of our lives, but until we actually take what we know, and put it into action...it is useless....I do KNOW that I am saved...I remember the actual day, place, and all the details of what led up to making the desicion to make Christ the Lord of my life....But we get into a rut...so to speak...of our everyday stuff....from work, to wrestling practice, cooking dinner, dance, basketball, church, and do it all over again....that we aren't walking the walk on a daily basis....We tend to let the stuff of everyday life take over...and forget that He is there...wanting us to spend time with Him...Wanting us to put Him first in all our desicions...in our hearts and lives...period...above all else...So, my question is...What are we going to do about it? Continue on, doing our stuff, running around, without focus? Or are we going to put Him first? Making a difference in our lives...and the lives of those around us...by Loving like He loves...I just want to be Closer to You....

                                  

His Eyes....

A lot has happened...

Almost too much for me to put down into words...but I need to...

So here is a feeble attempt....

Haiti. One word. That changed me forever. I went to a third world country thinking that I would be going to help this precious people who are broken. Who knew that I would come home broken myself?

This post isn't to post about my mission trip to Haiti...I will try to do that at another time...but today, I am posting about Faith. God working. Amazing "stuff" that He is doing in my life. All because I listened when He spoke. He said "Go". I went. and came back with a new perspective on everything I face in life. Who would have thought that I would have flown half way around the world, to work in a country where people are sick and dying...for God to change MY heart? I know..A lot of you would expect that to happen...God's working on me. =)

I went on this trip "thinking" it would help me through some things I had been dealing with for quite some time. Nursing. Ugh. The desicion I made for my life 15 years ago....Knowing, that it wasn't God's will for my life. I did it. Anyway. Voices everywhere were saying...There are always jobs in the health care industry, It's what you went to college for, What else would you do?, There are bills to pay, children to raise, and Why would you change professions now? Ok, so what did I do? Put the thought out of my mind..The thought of "this isn't what I called you to do"...ignored it. Pushed it way back into my mind, and heart...tried to work through my life....but it was always there...trying to make it's way back to the surface....Why are you working in a profession YOU chose yourself?

I was laying in the bed in Haiti...Where God's prescence was everywhere...The stars even seem closer there. James and the kids were at home. My parents were at home. My cell phone didn't work that well....Connections to "my people" were pretty much non-existent...It was at this point that God said," Cassie, Are you here? Can you hear me now? I know I brought you all the way across the world, but you wouldn't listen to me otherwise....Now, I know you came here to work as a nurse...but do you see now? Nursing is NOT what I called you to do...

I see. I get it. BUT....yes, there is always a "but"...right? I mean, it's not as easy as just jumping on this thing we call our "dream" and leaving our "responsible self" behind....Not for me anyway...=) 

I came home from Haiti. Changed. Told James about my "God moments". He understood. Wow. One big hurdle. I was worried that he wouldn't understand. He knew. As much as I did. But he lacked the same thing as me. Faith.

One thing after another has happened since my return home. God things. Amazing stuff. I spoke with an amazing person one night. I had given my testimony in church about my trip. I wasn't going to talk about the "nursing stuff" for fear that people wouldn't get it. I mean the purpose of the trip was to help people, sick Haitians. No one wants to hear about me getting "called out of nursing" ...LOL...God saw different..That's what I talked about. and wasn't even nervous. That is definitely a God thing =) A friend put this thought in my mind....If while you were in Haiti, what if, instead of a needle in your hand, you had a camera around your neck? How would your mission trip have differed? Ummmm...ok, this brings me to tears....Love my camera. Love the stories I can tell with photos. Do you think God could want you to be HIS EYES? WOW! For someone to say those words...Just what I needed to hear.

His Eyes Photography

Seeing Life through God's Eyes....

“ For God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” -1 Samuel 16: 7

I truly feel that God is calling me to pursue my love of photography. I want to be in His will..but also want to be able to help provide for my family. So still praying and searching for answers. The story gets better....We serve an awesome God =)

(to be continued....)

Haiti

He is in the Details....

Haven't blogged for a few days....have been putting updates on Facebook....not even sure if anyone is reading this blog or not...but it is a way for me to get my thoughts down...so I do it =) for me....

We didn't get to fly out on the 26th as planned due to a snowstorm....was so frustrating...Was mentally prepared to go to Haiti...and now, here I am, in Kingsport...still waiting....So hard...I have honestly felt that God wants me to go on this trip...one door after another has opened...Almost unbelievable...So, I am having a hard time with this stumbling block....I know that God is in the details...and I know that He knows more than I could ever comprehend...but I can't help but feel frustration, because I could be there now...serving....Don't get me wrong...I am not complaining...just reasoning....I have been doing this for the past day or two...so, I am just now getting down to putting all my thoughts down....today...feeling peace.....=) but just wanting to share my last few days....

I was listening to the radio yesterday right after I did my devotion, and had asked the Lord to help me understand why this is going on...and the following song came on..."While I am Waiting-by John Waller" Ok, I have heard this song, like 1000 times...but never this way...Isn't it amazing how you can listen, but not really listen? If that makes any sense...=) But that is what I have done lately...I have heard things...but not really....This song is amazing...going to post it...listen, and pay attention to the words....

So, I will serve Him....While I am waiting...Praying...and being obedient....with peace =) Even while I wait....

2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal...

Psalm 37:34
Wait for the LORD and keep his way. He will exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are cut off, you will see it.

Wanted to share this morning....God IS in the details of every thing that is going on concerning this mission trip to Haiti...I know He wants me there....Just wasn't the way I had planned...This morning...I am laying it at His feet....