Get Up and Walk

I got up early this morning, so I could spend time with the Lord before heading off to do photo sessions all day long =) Amazed at how He speaks to me. I truly feel that God is calling me to do something. Not going to post the details here. Not now. But I just want to say that when He speaks, He doesn't forget. He keeps reminding me every day about what He wants me to do. Even though we go about our daily lives. Running here, running there. Acting sometimes as if we didn't hear Him. He's still there. Ballgames, wrestling camps, pool days, yard work,vacations~the wonderful days of summer. My favorite time of the year. We get so busy sometimes, but He's still there~guiding each and every step we take. I know He's there. I stand in awe of the things that have been put in front of me the past few weeks. I read a number of devotions, and am doing a Bible Study....Do you think it is coincidence that they all are about the same thing? Hmmmmm....I think not. I heard someone say at a women's conference "There is no such thing as coincidences, only Divine appointments".... So TRUE!

The Bible Study I am reading focused on the story where the man was healed at the pool of Bethesda. I have read and heard this story so many times. But this time it was different. The man was sitting by the pool and waiting. What was supposed to happen, was when the water was stirred, the first person to get to the water, would be healed. Well, this man was unable to walk. So he sat by the pool, waiting...Everyone would get to the water before him. He said he needed someone to help him get to the water. But then Jesus came to Him. Jesus asked him "Do you want to be healed?" The man answered, "Of course I want to be healed"...Jesus told him to "Get up and Walk". The man got up and was healed. Another amazing story in the Bible.  The story has much more to it than that, but that is a summary. I read this and started thinking....Do I want to be healed? Do I want to be in His Will? Do I want to do EVERYTHING He wants me to do? Then, I need to get up off my mat, and walk. Stop sitting on the edge of life. Stop waiting. and Go. =) That's what's in my heart today. Say a prayer for me~wanting to "Get Up and Walk" today.....
God Bless.

While Everyone Else is Asleep.....

All 5 of us together again~under one roof...

I thought this moment would make me happy, and it does in a way. All my children are safe and sound back home together~as a family. Everyone is asleep. The house is quiet, and I just can't get the thought out of my mind that it's all changing. Three more days, and Ian is in high school. I don't know why it hasn't hit me until just now. He's been gone a week to DC, on his own, becoming more independant, and growing up~whether he realized it or not. He has changed forever this week. He has learned that he can do things without us, manage money, get himself up on time, watch the time, and be responsible. After realizing these things, we don't go "backwards" We only go forward, and grow more. I know this is a good thing for him. But it sure is a hard thing for a mommy. A mommy who doesn't get to be called "mommy" any more. It's mom. I kind of laugh as I type that, because I remember the first time he said it, and it bothered me a little. But I knew it was part of growing up. There are so many of those moments. The ones where you realize they are growing up before your eyes....and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it, but take it all in. When they quit sucking their thumb :), don't want to hold your hand to go into school, don't need you to read them a bedtime story....It changes so fast.  Love them like nothing else in this world. Spend as much time with them as you can. Listen when they talk to you. There will come a time when they don't want to share their thoughts with you like they used to. It's so easy to get frustrated when they are small. They get into things, and they "need us" for so much. We sometimes get discouraged by all the things they do need us for~diaper changes, feedings, 2 am feedings, doctor appointments, bath time, tying their shoe, wiping their noses.....the list goes on and on. I just can't believe how fast time has went by.

I just want to be the best "mommy" ;) I can be...God blessed me with three precious children. Sometimes I think it is the hardest job in the world. My heart breaks for them, and the world that they have to grow up in. I want to be better at praying for them. I want to be a better encourager. Listener. Friend. I am so blessed to have married my best friend in all the world~and I am so thankful that he is on this journey with me. James doesn't like seeing them grow up either. He just doesn't have a 1 am breakdown by himself...lol...unlike me =) And like he always says, when they are grown then we will spend the rest of our lives loving each other...I love that man =)

I got up tonight to read my Bible, searching for comfort for my heavy heart. Sounds crazy, but I have learned in the past few months that the Lord speaks to me through His word. No matter the circumstance. Even to a mommy who is sad because her kids are growing up too fast. I opened His word,

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:6-7. 

 He still amazes me. With each and every day. I know that I am here for a purpose~The love I have for these 3 guys that God has blessed me with~no where compares to the love He has for me. He gave His life up for me. No matter how many times I mess up, or come back to Him begging for forgiveness, comfort, peace. He loves me anyway.

Tonight, I want to thank you Lord, for guiding and protecting my precious family this past week as we were all in different locations. Thank you for bringing Macey and Ian both home safely. Thank you for the blessing of family. Help James and I as we raise the kids you have given us~to put you first in ALL things. When everyone else in the house is asleep, Thank you for being willing to listen, and most of all~speak to me...Amen =)

Good night....

Greater Love Has No One....

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends" John 15:13

Friendship is something that we all long for. I remember being in the second grade, and having a "best friend"...She and I did everything together...from starting the "left-handed club"(we both were right handed, by the way) to wearing matching clothes...We thought that's what friends did. Enjoy each others company, be "together" all the time, have clubs, pass notes, giggle-ALL the time...and that's pretty much it. We stayed friends until she moved away in the 5th grade...and promised to write each other every day...and never stop "being friends"...Well, you know where this is going...We wrote each other a few times...we grew up, and grew apart...and well, to be honest...I haven't heard from her since the 6th grade....That was just an elementary school friendship though....that is expected...(not that some friendships can't last forever-just my experience :)

I have two kids in middle school, and I remember those years well...Drama...the best word I can think of...and I will leave it at that...Just so my kids won't think I am using them as examples... ;)

Well, in high school, we have people we do things with, every day...hang out with, go to the football games with, share all our secret "crushes" with....spend 4 years with these people...the "best time of your life" as some say...Gaining independance, growing up, maturing, and learning things that you are life changing. Falling in love. Breaking up. Deciding on colleges, room mates, careers, sports...So many things....to share with our friends. I keep in touch with some of my friends from high school...but that's about it. I ended up marrying my Best friend =) So that friendship definitely was one that was forever...heehee...

As an adult, I have had a number of friends...I think that these friendships were needed ones. Not that all of the other ones weren't, but these are different. I know it's because I have grown up, and I see things differently...I even remember going through a phase thinking I didn't need friends...because then I wouldn't have to deal with the "stuff" that goes along with having them. I was so busy, that self was priority, career, small children, my family....not thinking about God's desire for my life.....

But the "stuff" is what God is using. It's what he's about. I had friends that we would spend every day at the pool when our kids were small...It was a way to get our kids together, plus get some "sun time". Friends that called and just talked to me, when I was lying on the couch throwing up my guts during pregnancy. They understood, because they were going through the same thing. Friends that would stay all night at our house watching horror movies....fun was what we had, lots of it....Friends that worked with me, and understood my deep desire to get out of nursing-10 years ago-but would motivate me to remain positive while God was showing me what I should do. Friends that would go on vacation with us-even though we had 3 small kids, and would load up the entire house to take to the beach. Friends that I never really "did anything" with, but our children go to the same school...and we would talk on the front porch during pick up. Friends that would feed our animals while we were out of town....I could keep going...because this is something I have thought a lot about lately.... Friendship. We need it. Especially Christian friends. I have realized that unlike we thought in elementary school...you don't have to have a select "club", or matching clothes...as an adult, you don't have to be together every day, or even talk often.
Sometimes when we are going through something...that is too much to bear. Something that we don't feel that we can share with others. For whatever the reason. True friends will be there. God put us here on this Earth for others. To love them. To share His word with them. Why I get down sometimes...I don't know. I wish I could get past that. But when I am down, and a friend does something for me that words can not express....All I know to do is to Thank Him. God put these special people in my life and I am so glad He did. This week I have seen God's love through a number of friends. You guys are amazing. I know God let's us go through storms to make us stronger. But I am so glad he put my friends here to help me make it through. And Above all~He is the Best friend I have....Love you Lord =)

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
And things can only get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger
Gonna make you stronger, stronger, stronger
Believe me, this is gonna make you Stronger

Try and do the best you can

I will Give you Peace

Peace.

I heard this song this morning....and I had to come home and look it up...so I could hear all the words....It is beautiful. I don't know why I am always shocked (for a lack of a better word) at how God speaks to me. I would love to say that the "stuff" I have been dealing with....I have just prayed about, and gave it to Jesus...and now that I have done that. No more worries. That would be the correct way to handle things. But, I am human. I am a touch OCD. I do like to be in control of situations. So, yeah, the "not worrying, and the trying to "handle things on my own" is still going on...I sincerely believe that is what I should do. But beginning to wonder if I will ever get to that point. Believe me, I am trying =)

Not going to write a long entry. Just listen to this song. I hope it touches you as much as it did me this morning.

 I see you lying their whispering prayers
I hear you breathing out hollowed be thy name
Holding out my hand catching every tear
Oh my child I'll never leave your side

I will give you peace when the walls come crashing down
I will give you peace through the night
When you've had all you can take can't face another day
I'll give you peace, I'll give you peace

For such a time as this I have you here
Chosen for the lost to show I'm near
Through your brokenness my glory shines
And through your frailty my strength will rise

Your beautiful, your beautiful
Perfect in my sight
Righteousness adorns you my bride
Your beautiful, so beautiful

Don't Say Why Me? Say What For?

Don't say Why Me? Say, What for?

James and I went to see Soul Surfer last weekend. I had seen the previews, and knew that it would be a good movie, possibly even a tear jerker. Little did I know it would cause me to need a full box of Kleenex...I never would have imagined that I could relate to this story on SO many levels.

The girl in the story loses her arm to a shark bite while surfing-which is her passion. I won't "ruin" the movie for those of you who haven't seen it yet. But I want to share what I "got" out of this story.

-No matter what type of "storm" we are facing in our lives...There is a way to give glory to God in the midst of it. It may be difficult, and we may not even actually understand it....But that is the purpose.

-If God is calling us to do something. We need to do it. Don't worry, Don't wait and wonder. Or ask questions. Don't put your self first. Always put Him first. Just do it. And you will be glad you did.

-With Christ ALL things are possible....(this was repeated over and over in this movie) <3 that.

-We are to share Christ with all the World. Missions. It is a calling for ALL of us...Not just some..."Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:19-20

-Sometimes in life, We are to do something...not for our benefit..but for the benefit of others. When you are IN a situation...All you see is what you are facing. If you step back and try to see the "bigger picture"...There may just be something that you would never see. We HAVE to be about our Father's business....and try to see things through "His Eyes" ;) (Photography Business advertisement there...that was free) Lol....

I could go on and on..but I will wrap this up...I will be honest here...When I was in Haiti, I heard God. I know if you have never been there...It is hard to understand. It wasn't an audible voice. But it was His Voice. I KNOW that I am supposed to be doing this. I know that I am supposed to let go of a profession that I have had doubts about since I started. I know that this is His plan. Is it easy? Ummmm. That's a big no. I cry a lot. I don't want to put stress on my husband or my family financially. And yes, we depend on my paycheck. I have prayed. A lot. Especially lately. I actually had a friend contact me in the past week concerning a job offer...Nothing I had looked for. Nothing I had even heard about before. She came to me. We met and talked. Sounded pretty good. But seriously, HOW many jobs can one person have? LOL....That is the attitude I came home from the meeting with...I know I have been praying, Lord, but another "Nursing" job? Ugh....(Won't explain the details of job here, but it is minimal hours, and not "really nursing work"-I work one day a week at the hospital and it is less hours than that....but a great opportunity to help us financially-and possibly, eventually say farewell to the hospital....Only time will tell ;) But seriously praying about that one too)

Photography is still first in my heart...and my life...I even told the person who contacted me about this job...Photography and God's business will come first....and the answer I got..."No problem...I agree with you" But I decided that there are NO coincidences...God puts people and opportunities in our lives for a reason. I prayed about this for a week. I decided this morning, that I believe this is a God-thing. ;) I love that. So, gonna try it. And see what He has in store...Because I know He's in it...Which makes me smile. Because He loves me that much. He sees a need...and He supplies...Over and Over. <3

The Bigger Picture

Had to share =)

 
We complain about the cross we bear but don't realize it is preparing us for the dip in the road that God can see

and we can't.
Whatever your cross, whatever your pain, there will always be sunshine, after the rain....
Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall; But God's always ready, to answer your call.....
He knows every heartache, sees every tear, a word from His lips, can calm every fear...
Your sorrows may linger, throughout the night, But suddenly vanish, dawn's early light...
The Savior is waiting, somewhere above, to give you His grace, and send you His love....
God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
and we question God -'why me?'..always look at the bigger picture......

Be Thankful in All Circumstances

Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

This hit me like a rock today.

I try to be positive. I do my best not to put negative comments on my facebook page. or my blog. I try not to complain to friends. or family.  I know that there are homeless children with no families in Haiti. I have seen it. My heart breaks for them. I watch things on television about the earthquake in Japan with tears in my eyes. I have such a heart for these countries that are having to live in such devastation. Family members lost, not knowing if they will ever seen them again. People are diagnosed with life threatening illnesses daily. Some women are unable to bear children.  Some don't have homes. There is so much sadness in this world. Sometimes I just want to ask myself Why I feel the way I do? Frustrates me.

I truly have been blessed. My family is healthy. I have a Godly husband. I live in a free country. So many blessings, so why do I feel the need to complain? I really don't know.

God has been moving in my life, and the life of my family. I know that I am doing His will...I have no doubts. But I also know that the Devil is aware of this little tidbit of information too. He sure doesn't like for me to be close to the Lord. He does everything within his power to make that more difficult. He likes to cause disruption in our lives. Ugh. Enough said. If anything, this should make my walk with the Lord stronger. That is what I want. But it is so difficult. There have been days lately that all I want to do is cry. And go into the "poor pitiful me" syndrome. I feel that God wants me to step out in faith. Follow Him. Which is requiring sacrifice. Sacrifice isn't easy. It sounds so "heroic"...but it hurts. Me and my family as well in a number of ways~Financially. Mentally. You name it, and I could probably list it here. Have had pretty rotten attitude lately.  So, why am I writing this? I am not sure. lol. Writing sometimes is therapy to me. It's almost like putting my thoughts down to read, helps me to make more sense of them.

My devotion this morning talked about being thankful...I thought to myself, I am thankful...Not a problem...but then I really started thinking about how I have felt this past week or two. Have I really acted Thankful? I have been focusing on my problems...and not being able to enjoy life because of that. Straight from my devotion..... 

"When you focus on what you don't have or on situations that displease you, your mind also becomes darkened. You take for granted life, salvation, sunshine, flowers, and countless other gifts from God. You look for what is wrong and refuse to enjoy life until that is " fixed"

It is not about me or my "problems". I need to take satisfaction in that what I do, I do for my Lord. He is the source of happiness and joy. He is the reason I am doing these things. My photography business is for God and God alone. I sometimes lose sight of that and get caught up in the "stuff" but very thankful that I worship a God that lets me know when I go astray. I'm thankful for my circumstances and that God is still in control.

Today I will be Thankful.