In the Blink of an Eye

Perimesencepahlic nonanerusymal subarachnoid Brain Hemorrhage.

Wow. That's a mouthful. On July 26, that word had never entered my vocabulary. Today, I'm blogging about it. Crazy how our lives can change in the blink of an eye.

The night of July 26, James and I and the kids had decided that we were going to start a "running" program. The name of it is The Couch to the 5K. I have done it before, and made pretty good progress, and felt like after losing this last 45 pounds, that it would be a good time to start it up again. I was motivated to get in shape, and get organized to be ready for back to school, ect. So we got our ipods together, and headed out into our cul-de-sac around 930 pm. (I like to run at night, because it isn't as hot, and there aren't onlookers ;) We did the warm up walking phase, and then one maybe two of the running "rounds"....During the second one, I began to have this intense headache in the front of my head. Right in the middle, and then it felt as if two rubber bands were pulling from the front of my head to the base of my neck. I had to stop jogging, and was walking. I told James and the kids that I was having a severe headache, and needed to lay down. I went straight to the couch, and attempted to lie down-with no success. The pain was so excruciating that I couldn't even lay there, I was balled up in fetal position, crying in pain, and at this point, both my arms were going numb. I could feel them tingling, and was having a hard time focusing....I knew that I needed to be seen in the ER. Shaun, my brother in law kept passing before my eyes. Aneurysm. He died of an anerysym. Is that what is wrong with me? Am I having a stroke? The next few minutes, hours, of time are sort of a blur. I remember some of the things that happened, but not all of them. The drive to the ER, was just prayer on my part. Please, Lord let me get there. Take care of me and my children. Help me.....That sort of thing...repeating the prayers over and over in my mind. We got checked into the ER, and there was a vast array of testing, antivomiting meds that didn't work, CT, CT with contrast, Vomiting, freezing, MRI, having to tell our family that I was in the ER with a brain bleed. Kids were terrified. James too. Me, I was out of it. Not aware enough to be scared, but in an incredible amount of pain. When they finally transferred me to ICU, and a familiar face checked me in. I felt some peace. They got me checked in, and situated, nausea under control. pain still there, but some better. Now to worry about what had caused this, what to do. How would I deal with this? What is God's plan in allowing this to happen?

Well, it's almost a week and a half later, and I still don't know the answers. Had much more testing done, arteriogram with good results, MRI negative, CT's look like blood has reabsorbed. All the things that they wanted to happen. But still don't know what caused it? The neuro doctor said we may never know. "One of those things" I still have lots of questions. Still having headache and neck pain. Still feel my body ache because of inactivity. I know it sounds like complaining, and maybe it is. I don't see why I had to go through this. But I do know that I want to get great things out of it. God works that way. We don't have to understand, for him to teach us. I think that's what He is doing. I want to learn. Nothing like being put on restrictions, to have time to think. and study His word. I plan on making the most of this.

We serve an amazing God. Who healed me. I know that. If He isn't first in your life, you need to consider where you stand today? I could not be here today. It could have been the end of my life last week, but if it was, I know where I would have been. With my Father in Heaven. <3 Life can change...in the blink of an eye. Be sure you are ready...when it does.