Almost too much for me to put down into words...but I need to...
So here is a feeble attempt....
Haiti. One word. That changed me forever. I went to a third world country thinking that I would be going to help this precious people who are broken. Who knew that I would come home broken myself?
This post isn't to post about my mission trip to Haiti...I will try to do that at another time...but today, I am posting about Faith. God working. Amazing "stuff" that He is doing in my life. All because I listened when He spoke. He said "Go". I went. and came back with a new perspective on everything I face in life. Who would have thought that I would have flown half way around the world, to work in a country where people are sick and dying...for God to change MY heart? I know..A lot of you would expect that to happen...God's working on me. =)
I went on this trip "thinking" it would help me through some things I had been dealing with for quite some time. Nursing. Ugh. The desicion I made for my life 15 years ago....Knowing, that it wasn't God's will for my life. I did it. Anyway. Voices everywhere were saying...There are always jobs in the health care industry, It's what you went to college for, What else would you do?, There are bills to pay, children to raise, and Why would you change professions now? Ok, so what did I do? Put the thought out of my mind..The thought of "this isn't what I called you to do"...ignored it. Pushed it way back into my mind, and heart...tried to work through my life....but it was always there...trying to make it's way back to the surface....Why are you working in a profession YOU chose yourself?
I was laying in the bed in Haiti...Where God's prescence was everywhere...The stars even seem closer there. James and the kids were at home. My parents were at home. My cell phone didn't work that well....Connections to "my people" were pretty much non-existent...It was at this point that God said," Cassie, Are you here? Can you hear me now? I know I brought you all the way across the world, but you wouldn't listen to me otherwise....Now, I know you came here to work as a nurse...but do you see now? Nursing is NOT what I called you to do...
I see. I get it. BUT....yes, there is always a "but"...right? I mean, it's not as easy as just jumping on this thing we call our "dream" and leaving our "responsible self" behind....Not for me anyway...=)
I came home from Haiti. Changed. Told James about my "God moments". He understood. Wow. One big hurdle. I was worried that he wouldn't understand. He knew. As much as I did. But he lacked the same thing as me. Faith.
One thing after another has happened since my return home. God things. Amazing stuff. I spoke with an amazing person one night. I had given my testimony in church about my trip. I wasn't going to talk about the "nursing stuff" for fear that people wouldn't get it. I mean the purpose of the trip was to help people, sick Haitians. No one wants to hear about me getting "called out of nursing" ...LOL...God saw different..That's what I talked about. and wasn't even nervous. That is definitely a God thing =) A friend put this thought in my mind....If while you were in Haiti, what if, instead of a needle in your hand, you had a camera around your neck? How would your mission trip have differed? Ummmm...ok, this brings me to tears....Love my camera. Love the stories I can tell with photos. Do you think God could want you to be HIS EYES? WOW! For someone to say those words...Just what I needed to hear.
His Eyes Photography
Seeing Life through God's Eyes....
“ For God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” -1 Samuel 16: 7
I truly feel that God is calling me to pursue my love of photography. I want to be in His will..but also want to be able to help provide for my family. So still praying and searching for answers. The story gets better....We serve an awesome God =)
(to be continued....)