Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?
and it really got to me. It was during an interview that I had today. I didn't post anything about this interview, or the previous 2 I have had. Because I just don't "feel" like I am where I am supposed to be..
.I have never been closer to God than during the days I spent in Haiti this past January....and during that time I know what He said to me...He called me "out of nursing". So for me to continuously work as a nurse, kills me. I have bills, and nursing is what pays them. But I am SO unhappy there... I want more than anything to be doing what my heart knows I should be doing....but this thing called fear. uncertainty. lack of faith. Seem to keep my feet planted right where I am. So frustrating. I sometimes wonder how I spent so many years, just doing what I do. Working, sleeping, taking kids to all of the places they had to be, and never think about God's plan for me. Never consider that I maybe should be doing something Bigger. Not so self centered. Putting others first. Sharing His Love with those who haven't met Him yet. <3
I honestly don't think it is a coincidence that I have applied for 5 or so nursing jobs...and haven't gotten one of them. He knows where He wants me. I wish he would just make this path a little easier. I think my health situation this summer was a wake up call to a lot of things....He IS in control. But I just want the answers now. I am not a patient person. I usually try to be positive on my blog, and my facebook page...but today...it's just not really there...Just really wanting answers. Now. So today is a blah day for me.
So, Where do I want to be in 5 years? Honestly? I have no idea.Five years from now...Ian will be 19, Macey 17, and Cade 13...Wow....I want to be in His Will. I am open to just about anything. I just want to be doing life for my Lord. Serving in the mission field....whether it is Africa, or my community that I live in now. Five years from now, I don't want to look back and say....I wish I had just had the Faith to go. Faith to do what I know in my heart I was supposed to.
That interview I mentioned...I actually was offered the opportunity to work there. But the entire day today...had this feeling that it's not where I am supposed to be. So. I am just a girl. Praying for direction. Wanting more than anything to be where I am supposed to be. <3