Monday, August 29, 2011

Don't wait for a "Perspective Changer"

I usually don't title my blog posts until after they are written..But today is different...last night during church, while listening to our pastor, I came up with my title...Don't judge me, I was paying attention in church, even taking notes....because I am a note taking kind of girl...I take notes to keep my mind on track. You should see the books I read...I take notes in them too...sometimes with colored pencils...because it makes me smile =) and for no reason other than that =)



But the title came to me during church because of the content of the sermon. Our pastor was speaking about a subject that lots of people like to avoid...When your last minute on Earth comes, where will you spend the next minute? Your first minute of eternity? Heaven? or Hell? Yes. That is a deep question. A question that a lot of people would rather not think about...Not now. Now, I am busy with all of this stuff that I have going on in my life. Lots of things to do. You know, Stuff.

We can go about our daily lives. Doing the "stuff" that we consider important...and completely ignore the eternity question? But like I have told my children about lots of things....ignoring something doesn't make it go away...It doesn't mean that it won't happen. It will. Death isn't something that any of us can avoid. It happens to everyone at some time or another.

My PERSPECTIVE has been changed. Life altering events have a good way of doing that. Believe me, I have had my share of them in the past couple of months. Like I have said before, you can be living life one day, and fighting for it the next. Crazy how that works. But it is so. Don't wait until something happens. Perspective Changers aren't fun. Period. They hurt. They are difficult. And sometimes seem unfair. BUT ~ Has my perspective been changed? Definitely. God gives us so much that we don't thank him for. Family, friends, jobs, cars....the list could go on. But the key to that statement is that He gives it to us. When you lose a family member, or a friend, a job, or even something as simple as a car~you miss it. You realize the value it had in your life. The importance of it. Like the song, "You don't know what you've got until it's gone"...So true. Don't wait until it's gone. Make the desicion to follow Jesus today. Without Him in my life~these past few months~I honestly don't know where I would have been. I have been in His word, and prayed more than I have in my life. Why does it take a "perspective changer" to cause this change in my mind? I wish I knew. But I would love for you to realize it before hand. He is here. For you. "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 6:23 I know that these are things you have heard all your life. I have. But now I know. Peace. Without Jesus we wouldn't have it. For that I am thankful. If you have Jesus in your heart and life~Will the storms stay away? No. They will still come. But when you have Jesus, he helps you through. When I breathe my last time here on Earth~I know where I will be the next minute in eternity...Do you? <3

"Jesus Christ, righteous Jesus. When he served as a sacrifice for our sins, he solved the sin problem for good—not only ours, but the whole world's" 1 John 2:2

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Make my Vapor Count

I haven't blogged in a few days because my heart wasn't in it. I decided when I started this a long time ago, that I wasn't going to blog negativity. Well, that is where I have been lately. Pretty Negative. You know the saying "When it rains it pours"? That doesn't even touch where I have been lately...If that saying is true, I have been stuck in the middle of a hurricane....and can't get out...Today, for whatever reason, seems a little better. I thought about writing about all of the things that have went wrong in the past couple of days...but decided against it. What good does it do to complain? It gets us nowhere...And you know what? As hard as it seems to believe. There is a purpose. God has a purpose for everything that my family has had to endure. I read this quote last night~"Just because God takes you on a detour, it doesn’t mean He’s changed His mind about your destination. The final word on your life is not going to be the detours you experience. It’s going to be the destination God uses them to take you to." It is true. Trials open your eyes. Those experiences that happen to every one else...They can happen to you. And when they do~you realize a lot of things. "For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appeareth for a little time, and then vanishes away (James 4:14). So true. "Soon this life as we know it shall pass … only what’s done for Jesus will last.” Yes, I am full of quotes today...but I know that I didn't see them all in the past 24 hours by coincidence. No way. God constantly amazes me with His faithfulness. I just want to be all I can be for Him.

Sometimes we sit back and think, How can God use me? I am just....or I can't....but....We are full of excuses....We give excuses for everything...Reasons we can't serve in our church. That hits home with a lot of people. There are enough people at church doing things...They don't realize that I have a job and three kids to take care of, the extracurricular activities we have....I mean, I am like a taxi driver...plus my family needs me to spend time with them ......yeah, Truth hurts. I'm speaking to myself too...So don't get offended.  For us to be all that God wants us to be~we need to spend time with Him and in His word. and with His people. and SERVE. Really? Yep. It's simple. That verse that says "Life is but a vapor...." I really want to make my vapor count. =)

I don't want to be a part of a church that sits back and let's things happen. I want to be a church that goes out, and tells others about our Father. If we knew someone who has cancer, and we have the cure for it...We wouldn't keep that cure to ourselves. We would share it with the world. So they could be healed. I don't see a difference. We have a Savior. Who died on the cross for our sins. He did it for us. All we have to do is trust in Him. Believe. And he has the "cure for our lost souls" Salvation. Eternity in Heaven with Him.

 I lost my brother in law 2 months ago today. Suddenly. To a brain aneurysm. I hate the situation, the sadness, the grief. My sister's family being incomplete. But Shaun became a Christian. and knowing that, having that peace in my heart~means I will see him again. I will get to put my arms around his neck, and tell him that he was a brother to me....drop the "in-law" part ;) And he will tell me I am "mean"...and I will say "Bull!"...(on going joke between Shaun and I) But HOW does someone face death without that peace? I don't know. That is where, we, as Christians, need to step up. "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,  and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:19-20

I have heard this song...so many times in the past day or so...and it makes me cry every time I hear it...Remind me Who I am. Watch the video if you have time. But there are so many people out there hurting. Dealing with so much. Sometimes it is someone right beside you. and we just need Him to Remind us...Who we are...To Him. <3 I am the One He loves<3

When I lose my way
When I forget my name
Remind me who I am
In the mirror all I see
is who I don’t wanna be
Remind me who I am
In the loneliest places
When I can’t remember what grace is
Tell me once again who I am to You
Who I am to You
Tell me
Lest I forget who I am to You
I belong to You
To You
When my heart is like a stone
and I’m running far from home
Remind me who I am
When I can’t receive Your love
Afraid I’ll never be enough
Remind me who I am
If I’m Your beloved
Can You help me believe it
Tell me once again who I am to You
Who I am to You
Tell me
Lest I forget who I am to You
I belong to You
To You
I’m the one You love
I’m the one You love
That will be enough

Friday, August 19, 2011

Remember When

17 years.

Wow.

I guess that shows how old I am. James and I were married 17 years ago tomorrow. I could write this big long romantic post...but most people that know us, know our "story"...We met in Spanish class at Central High School. I didn't like him. He was annoying...Things haven't changed in the annoying department. ;) But we grew to be good friends. Nothing more. He would call me, and tell me who he "liked" and do a practice run on asking her out....I would pretend to be "her"...and tell him how he sounded...ect. LOL...I was brutally honest too. But I dated other guys. He dated other girls. But our friendship was always there. He would give me advice. I would listen. I decided to look up the word friendship in Websters(this one is for you Kristie) and it said" the mutual feelings of trust and affection and the behavior that typify relationships between friends". We had that. But it didn't take long before it became more....We were best friends for about 2 years, and then our relationship went to another level. Our families went to the beach at the same time....and that is where James told me he loved me. I wasn't ready for that. But I was ready to try it. I mean, how can you go wrong by dating your best friend in the world? I was afraid. Afraid that if it didn't work out, I would lose that friendship. But even then, 17 years ago, I knew that God had brought James into my life. =) And for that I am SO thankful.

We have come so far. From our little one room apartment in Johnson City...to being the parents of 3 beautiful children....our blessings far outweigh our trials. And trials are definitely a part of our life right now. Losing a family member suddenly, who was too young to die. (in our worldly thought process) finances falling apart around us, transmission goes out in our van, having a brain aneurysm, 8 days in ICU, more bills coming, in search of full-time job with no luck, the list goes on and on....But, all of that makes my blessings all the more. I have a wonderful husband, who loves me NO matter the trials we have. Three amazing children, who understand that things are rough right now, but love us anyway. Ian even offered us all of his birthday money to help us out~said we needed it more than he did. God is Good. All the time. We say that all the time, but it's true. He is right here with us in the middle of this mess. He is going to get us through it. I am holding on to that. Believing it.

In the midst of all the stuff going on in our lives, I am coming up on August 20 tomorrow. The day that I married my best friend. The day that my life changed forever. The happiest day of my life. Everything may not be perfect. But when I look into James eyes, no matter what is going on. I know that we will be ok. He has been my rock during all of this. When I couldn't walk, he helped me. He took care of me while I was sick. He didn't leave my side. I write this, and can't help but wipe the tears as they flow down my cheeks. I feel guilty because my sister has lost the love of her life. I wish I could take that all away. I don't understand it. It just isn't fair. But knowing the love that she had, and talking with her every day about it. She would say Love your husband. Tell him every day. Don't take what you have for granted. We don't know what the next day holds let alone the next hour.

So, today, I want to say...

James, I love you more than you will ever know. When you walked into my life 17 years ago, I never knew how blessed I would be to have you. God had a plan for us. I am so glad that he chose you for me. That plan is still in progress. We are called to do God's work. You and I both know that. I am so excited to see this next phase of our lives roll out in front of us. We are closer to God than we ever have been. Knowing that, I am so exited about where He is leading us. You started as my best friend, and you still are my best friend. But now you are the absolute LOVE of my life. I love everything about you. (even if sometimes it doesn't seem that way) You are my rock. Thank you for making the last 17 years, the best ones of my life. Thank you for being the best daddy in the world. For loving our kids above any thing else. For loving me unconditionally. God has been good to us. and for that I am thankful. We don't realize the blessings that we have been given. Sometimes life is hard, but with each other, we can do anything. As long as we always put God first. You are a blessing to me. and today I want to tell you that. I love you James Allen. Now and Forever....

Happy Anniversary! Here's our favorite song....Remember When....<3


Remember when I was young and so were you
And time stood still and love was all we knew
You were the first, so was I
We made love and then you cried
Remember when

Remember when we vowed the vows and walked the walk
Gave our hearts, made the start and it was hard
We lived and learned, life threw curves
There was joy, there was hurt
Remember when

Remember when old ones died and new were born
And life was changed, disassembled, rearranged
We came together, fell apart
And broke each other's hearts
Remember when

Remember when the sound of little feet was the music
We danced to week to week
Brought back the love, we found trust
Vowed we'd never give it up
Remember when

Remember when thirty seemed so old
Now lookin' back, it's just a steppin' stone
To where we are, where we've been
Said we'd do it all again
Remember when

Remember when we said when we turned gray
When the children grow up and move away
We won't be sad, we'll be glad
For all the life we've had
And we'll remember when

I love you James!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

I am just a Girl...

*warning....lots of rambling....
I have been amazed at the number of emails, cards, facebook messages, gifts that I have received over the past few weeks. James and I truly had no idea how many people really care about us. Amazing.

When we just live normal, non-eventful lives, we just go through the motions. We get up, get ready, drink our coffee, get the kids ready for whatever they have to do that day...Go do our "stuff", come home, go to whatever extracurricular events we have....settle in for the night...go to bed...then do a Repeat. Do we ever think about God during the course of one of our "non-eventful" days? I can honestly say, I didn't. I mean, yes, we went to church on Sunday, and we prayed before we ate~but to SERIOUSLY think about God during the course of the day...Not so much.

But let an "event" happen. A life-altering event. Thursday morning...8 weeks ago...my brother-in-law died. I got that dreadful 4am phone call....the one that wakes you up from a deep sleep. The one that makes your heart start beating in your throat, because you know that no one calls at that time of the morning. Our lives immediately changed. One minute, asleep-the next minute~Your life turns down a completely different path. And we are forced to make a decision. To turn to God.When everything was going along just the way we thought it should...We didn't seem to see the importance of Him in our lives. But let something happen, and then WHERE is He? Why did He let this happen? Prayer? Of course we are going to pray...What else can we do? This is out of our control. We now know that we NEED Him. But my storm didn't stop there. I was so broken for my sister. She and I are  closer now than we EVER have been. We have deep discussions about Jesus, and His love for us. What our purpose is in this life we have been given? I have always loved her. Why did it take something traumatic for me to realize how much? I wish I knew the answers.

Then James and I were running...trying to "get in shape" wanting to be healthy, so I can be here for my children. Wanting to teach them that exercise is important....ect. and then I had the dreaded "worst headache of my life". Numbness. Tingling in my arms. Neck Pain. ER. Aneurysm. ICU. MRI. CT. IV's. Blood work. An onslaught of words that I have used all my life in my job~never expected to hear people using those words around me. While I lay in a hospital bed. One minute~running~next minute...life goes down completely different path. Again. Why? If I had the answer to that question...I would be one happy girl.

I pretty much had a break down yesterday. I have received a number of emails of people telling me what an inspiration I have been to them, amazed at how strong I am...ect. Let me tell you, if any of you had seen me yesterday~you wouldn't have been inspired. I promise. Crying. Depressed. I don't understand why all of these things have had to happen to our family. I know I can say that God is in control (and I know he is) But that doesn't make all the sadness go away. There is so much more than people outside our home know about. Things that can overwhelm you in a way that is unexplainable. I definitely don't want people to think I "have this thing together" Because BELIEVE ME...I don't. I am trying. Praying. But I don't have the answers...and I wish I did. I need a job. FULL time. But the doctor has me off work until after Labor day. Finances. Huge burden to us right now. Depression~another thing that I personally have to deal with. Have for years. But throw in losing your brother in law to an aneurysm, the transmission on the van going out on the way to the funeral(no, I am not kidding), coming home and having a possible aneurysm yourself. Spending 8 days in ICU. Medical bills. the list goes on...but I won't bore you with it. Needless to say, the depression has somewhat kicked in...plus the crazy medicine that they have me on every 4 hours around the clock....guess what? side effect? depression...Great. right? lol....On top of lack of sleep...too...I can talk about what a pitiful mess we are in...can wonder why it all had to happen to us...That won't help anything...and I know that.

James and I were having a talk yesterday afternoon...I was opening the mail while we were talking...and I opened a card someone had sent me. The card was from a friend that I haven't talked to in some time....and the card was like a message from God. He said, "I'm in control of all of this. I promise. Be Still. Trust Me." And there was some money in the card. The exact amount that we needed to pay a bill that was due. Crazy to some, but it was all it took for me to realize that God's got this. I know it. When I get down and out. And want to climb in my bed, and go to sleep, because it is easier than dealing with everything that we are facing. God is here. Sitting beside me. Holding my hand. Telling me that "Everything is going to be all right". I know that. I just need Him to remind me every once in a while....hmmmm...maybe every day would be better....=)

I don't want to just "go through the motions" I want to do what God wants me to do with my life. Now. Don't wait on a storm to come into your life. Do it now. He has a plan for us, and all I want to do is be in His will. I don't have it all together. I am just a girl~in the middle of a storm~holding onto my Savior to get through<3



Sunday, August 14, 2011

In all things....

I know that I need to get out of the house....and be "normal" again...But for some reason, the house seems to be where I want to be. I am going to go to church this morning. But for some reason, I am dreading it. Horribly. I love my church. My friends. and so need to Worship my Lord. I long to be in His house. But I dread having to face people. I wish I knew why. I guess I am strange that way. I talked to James about it, and he thinks it is somewhat normal to feel that way. I am going to go. Because I know I need to, but just need prayers.

God is working on my heart in so many ways. I wish I could actually get it all down. I am working on it. But it is so much, sometimes all I can do is read His word, and pray. He is leading James and I on a journey. <3 Believe me, it has been a rough one this year. But all I can keep thinking is I can't wait to see where He is taking us. I know that all of the storms that we have been facing in the past few months are for a purpose. Through them all, I want to give Him the glory. That's all I can do. Because without Him, I wouldn't be here today. Without all of the prayers going up on my behalf~I just can't imagine. One thing I know is that Prayer works. Look at us. If it didn't, who knows what kind of shape we would be in? We aren't in the "greatest shape", but the one thing that has been consistent throughout all of this~our love for Christ. I remember lying in the hospital bed, thinking that I know God is with us~and has a purpose for us. All we need to do is give Him the praise through out. That's my plan. I have a "bigger blog post" coming...Maybe this afternoon...lol...but I just really wanted to write this now.

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

The One

It just takes One. I have heard that statement more than once in the past two days. Funny how when something impacts you. You notice in everywhere. For those of you who don't know, I am a Scentsy Consultant. Like many other Direct Sales companies, Scentsy does a yearly convention, and it just happened this past week. One of the speakers at convention spoke on "The Power of One".
This was the video that they showed at convention. What if You are the One? I promise there is a point to all my "linkage" during this blog post...Bear with me.....

Then I came upon the song by Brandon Heath...The One....
If I see one more light that's fading
Hear about one more broken dream
Pray for just one more faith that's dying
It's one too many

And if I see one more child walking
Just one more mile for water
If I wait one more minute longer
It's one too many

When I think of what could be
If we let our hearts believe
That it takes just one
Just one could turn this all around

And if we're living history
How will they think of you and me
If it takes just one, just one
What if, what if, what if I'm the one?

It takes one, takes one, one
It takes one, takes one, one
It takes one, takes one

If I hear one more widow crying
'Cause there's no one by her side
And if I see one more family breaking
It's one too many

If there's one thing that I'm sure of
If there's one thing that I know
You could be one in a sea of faces
Or you could be one more chance for hope

When I think of what could be
If we let our hearts believe
That it takes just one
Just one could turn this all around

And if we're living history
How will they think of you and me
If it takes just one, just one
What if, what if, what if I'm the one?

I see a nation without any walls
A beautiful haven for one and for all
I see a day when people are free
When shackles are broken and fall to the street

A voice, a cry, call out from on high
The first one of many, go lay down your life

When I think of what could be
If we let our hearts believe
That it takes just one
Just one could turn this all around

And if we're living history
How will they think of you and me
If it takes just one, just one
What if, what if, what if I'm the one?

Coincidental? I don't think so...because this morning....my devotion was titled....Are you ready? It Just Takes One (http://devotions.proverbs31.org/2011/08/it-just-takes-one.html) link provided.....

Ok, I am not sure what God is trying to tell me. But I think I am beginning to get it. I spoke to our youth pastor from our church last night for some time about some things that James and I have been burdened about. Lots of things run through your mind, when you are on restrictions, and you have to sit at home. Trust me. I mean I have thought about Mission opportunities, ways to reach others for Christ, things I want to do, books I would love to write, songs that inspire me. What my purpose in life is? Why my sister and me have had to go through the things we have for the past few weeks? God's in it. All.

It just takes One. In a worldly view~One person can change the world. or a church. as far as that goes. Sometimes I look at our local church and my heart breaks. There are so many times we fail. I don't want to sound ungrateful. I know that we are blessed. God has shown us through our church so much love during my sickness. We haven't asked for anything. My church family has been there for us in ways that we could have never even imagined. But this isn't about me. Or my family. It's about the family that doesn't have a church. They don't have money to make their bills. They are working two or three jobs to make ends meet. They don't "fit into our group" so therefore, we don't "think" about them. I'm guilty. I want to be the ONE to change that. I want my church to reach out to those people that no one else will. The lowest of the low. I sometimes wonder why we continue to "play church", Sunday after Sunday....doing the same thing over and over...and never making a difference in the lives of others. We hang with people like us, who believe like us~therefore there is no controversy. It's easy. Not hard. and we "like it that way". I am not sure about you...But I want to be the One to change that thought process. I am ready to take a stand for those who have not had the opportunities that I have. I want to love those who haven't felt loved. Let's be the church that God wants us to be. Love the unlovable. Don't judge each other. Live like Jesus did. Let's Be the One <3

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Me? A Mighty Warrior?

Being at home, on physical restrictions, has definitely given me a lot of time to just "think". Something that I like to do anyway. I love to catch up on my blogs, read my bible studies, and journal. Silly things that seem to be a sort of therapy for me. Writing has always been something that I have enjoyed. As a teenager, in high school, I journaled. Daily. I have books and books full of my high school years, things I did, places I went, feelings, ect. and I just love to look back through them, and am amazed at how "real" it makes those memories. Just a good way to keep memories alive...in my mind. anyway <3

I have always said the perfect job to me would be to vacate to a beach cottage somewhere up north, rocky coast line, wind blowing, white curtains, and white furniture with my laptop. I would love to sit down and actually write a book. Not really sure if it's a possible thing. But really have always had that dream....I can imagine it now, the windows open, breeze blowing through the open screens, and the thousands of ideas that are always flying around in my mind~somehow getting put down on paper~in some sort of order~to make a book. Thoughts that I have had over the past 6 months or so, things that I wish I could use to help others who have dealt with similiar situations. Just something that has been on my mind. Who knows? Maybe I will attempt it. Especially if God wants me to. =) 

This journey that He has put me in, has ever so changed my perspective on life. I know I have said it before, but I can't begin to say it enough. When God opens your eyes. You know it. There is NO accidental occurences in our lives. I say there is divine appointments. All things that we face on a daily basis are for a purpose. It is what we choose to do with the cards we are given that will make the difference. We all have a weak place. A "crack in our armor" so to say. And that one crack in our armor will get us everytime. If we allow it to. Everytime that we seem to "hit that wall of resistance" we have to give it to Him. Turn it over. Lay it Down at His feet. The enemy wants to rob us from experiencing God's gifts-by causing us to want to quit, or to simply give up. Because Life is just "too hard". God told Gideon, in Judges 6:12 "God is with you, Mighty Warrior". Gideon was scared, felt incapable, but yet God called him MIGHTY WARRIOR. He is calling us all Mighty Warriors. God is sending us. We will face resistance. Guaranteed. Will we move through it? God is with us. I am HIS. I'm gonna start with what I have, and do what he said. Go and Share my gospel with others. We love to talk about alot of things with other people, church, sunday school, socials, gatherings. But it is so hard to talk about the important things. JESUS. Everytime we introduce someone to Jesus, the devil loses again. and Jesus has already won. We are the vehicle that He has chosen to connect others to Jesus Christ. Let's not fall short on this one. I know I am ready to be a Mighty Warrior. How about you?

Saturday, August 6, 2011

In the Blink of an Eye

Perimesencepahlic nonanerusymal subarachnoid Brain Hemorrhage.

Wow. That's a mouthful. On July 26, that word had never entered my vocabulary. Today, I'm blogging about it. Crazy how our lives can change in the blink of an eye.


The night of July 26, James and I and the kids had decided that we were going to start a "running" program. The name of it is The Couch to the 5K. I have done it before, and made pretty good progress, and felt like after losing this last 45 pounds, that it would be a good time to start it up again. I was motivated to get in shape, and get organized to be ready for back to school, ect. So we got our ipods together, and headed out into our cul-de-sac around 930 pm. (I like to run at night, because it isn't as hot, and there aren't onlookers ;) We did the warm up walking phase, and then one maybe two of the running "rounds"....During the second one, I began to have this intense headache in the front of my head. Right in the middle, and then it felt as if two rubber bands were pulling from the front of my head to the base of my neck. I had to stop jogging, and was walking. I told James and the kids that I was having a severe headache, and needed to lay down. I went straight to the couch, and attempted to lie down-with no success. The pain was so excruciating that I couldn't even lay there, I was balled up in fetal position, crying in pain, and at this point, both my arms were going numb. I could feel them tingling, and was having a hard time focusing....I knew that I needed to be seen in the ER. Shaun, my brother in law kept passing before my eyes. Aneurysm. He died of an anerysym. Is that what is wrong with me? Am I having a stroke? The next few minutes, hours, of time are sort of a blur. I remember some of the things that happened, but not all of them. The drive to the ER, was just prayer on my part. Please, Lord let me get there. Take care of me and my children. Help me.....That sort of thing...repeating the prayers over and over in my mind. We got checked into the ER, and there was a vast array of testing, antivomiting meds that didn't work, CT, CT with contrast, Vomiting, freezing, MRI, having to tell our family that I was in the ER with a brain bleed. Kids were terrified. James too. Me, I was out of it. Not aware enough to be scared, but in an incredible amount of pain. When they finally transferred me to ICU, and a familiar face checked me in. I felt some peace. They got me checked in, and situated, nausea under control. pain still there, but some better. Now to worry about what had caused this, what to do. How would I deal with this? What is God's plan in allowing this to happen?

Well, it's almost a week and a half later, and I still don't know the answers. Had much more testing done, arteriogram with good results, MRI negative, CT's look like blood has reabsorbed. All the things that they wanted to happen. But still don't know what caused it? The neuro doctor said we may never know. "One of those things" I still have lots of questions. Still having headache and neck pain. Still feel my body ache because of inactivity. I know it sounds like complaining, and maybe it is. I don't see why I had to go through this. But I do know that I want to get great things out of it. God works that way. We don't have to understand, for him to teach us. I think that's what He is doing. I want to learn. Nothing like being put on restrictions, to have time to think. and study His word. I plan on making the most of this.

We serve an amazing God. Who healed me. I know that. If He isn't first in your life, you need to consider where you stand today? I could not be here today. It could have been the end of my life last week, but if it was, I know where I would have been. With my Father in Heaven. <3 Life can change...in the blink of an eye. Be sure you are ready...when it does.