Thursday, February 24, 2011

Let It Go

These words are so easy to say.
But although it is a simple statement, the action behind it=Difficult.
I know that God has a plan for me, I know that He is in control of all the stuff that is going on around me. But knowing something and actually acting on it are two totally different things.

God speaks. I have always known this, but I absolutely have never heard Him, like I have in the past few months. I am amazed at how everything I read, everything I hear on the radio, ALL seems to be saying the same thing...LET IT GO...Trust Him, He is in Control, He has a plan for you...The funniest little things...=) I was reading a fellow bloggers site, and she was doing a giveaway...a book about...guess what...Following God's will...Trusting Him...the general topic of my heart as of late...I thought, I will enter this...sounds like a good read....Yes, you guessed it...I won...I NEVER win anything...I have read 5 books in the past month...all talking about the same thing...One book, I got as a Christmas gift, before I ever went to Haiti...Sermons at church, Sunday School lessons...We even went to see Bob Smiley, a Christian comedian...When he was closing his performance...He spoke on following your dream, using your talents...I a comedy...I know He is speaking..Why it is so hard to simply obey? I guess the biggest thing is fear...Financial concern...Not wanting to put stress on my family, worry over instability? What if? I know, I know...Other people have had these same feelings...The Isrealites? Leaving Egypt...not knowing where they were going or what was going to happen.....Abraham? Took his son, led him up a sacrifice him...not knowing why...just obeying...Noah? Build an ark?that sounded crazy...Why? But he obeyed....Jonah? He really wanted to do things His way...tried it..not such a great way to end the belly of a whale...David? A little guy...fighting a giant? Seems Impossible...God is calling me "out of Nursing"...and to pursue something He gave me a heart for. Doors have opened.One by One. He keeps telling me to Let it Go. I am very OCD. I like things to be in my control. I am not a fan of someone telling me what to do. Ask James ;) I like to plan it out, be in charge, and do it my way. So for God to ask me to Let Go of my job..without a stable income...seems crazy to me..but when I put it in perspective...I would think that Noah, David, and Jonah probably thought the same thing....

So today, I laid down my OCD tendencies...hee hee..I drove a different route to work, I parked in a different parking spot, walked in a different way to the hospital, and took a different set of stairs.... I have worked as a nurse at the same hospital for more or less 15 years. I ALWAYS do the same routine. Never change it. EVER. Today I did. And it felt good. =) It was just a sign to me that I can do this. Change is hard, but won't kill me. I want to obey Him, follow Him with everything in me. I know this is what He wants me to do. So today, I told my manager about my plan. Letting Go, so I can Let God =) Loving Him more each and every day...God Bless.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Clear Eyes, Full Heart, Can't Lose

One of mine and James favorite television shows is Friday Night Lights...We have watched it for almost 5 years now...and last night was the final episode...I sat there watching, crying the entire time...It's almost as if we know these characters personally...I feel that Coach Taylor and his wife, Tami, Tim Riggins, Matt Sarason....all of our favorite characters seem so real. No,
I haven't lost my mind...I know they are just actors. But the characters they play, the serious problems that they are dealing with ARE real.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

The Rest of the Story... =)

Ok..I think I am finally ready to write everything that has been going on my life down...I think =) I am at least going to make an effort...

In a previous post, I wrote about how I feel that God is leading me into a different career path...A path that is uncertain, not financially "stable" and something that I am going to have to do on my own-with God's guidance, of course. We serve an amazing God. What better way to start this story, than to praise my King. I have always prayed, I have always spent time in my Bible. But not like I should. Not expecting answers. Not really expecting anything. Just doing it out of habit, or simply "it's the right thing to do"....I am sure some of you know what I mean. But I intentionally made a change after my trip to Haiti. I was in a country where chaos was iminent, sickness was everywhere, and I felt helpless. He was there, and I talked to Him all the time. At night, when I couldn't sleep, I prayed. When I was in tears, thinking about God's will for my life, I prayed. When I needed to find peace, I found it in His word...It is sort of sad that it has always been there, but it took this trip for me to "figure it out" for a lack of better words....And now, I wake up in the mornings, and spend my time with Him first. Before doing anything else. He is doing some pretty awesome things in my life, and I NEED to learn to depend on Him in all things. Working on that one daily =) I say all that, so I can "tell my story"...Much prayer, and reading God's word have went into this desicion. I know it's what God wants me to do. So here goes.....

After I spoke with my friend, concerning my heart for photography, I truly started praying about this. I don't want to make photography what I THINK God wants, just because of my passion for it. So, I didn't take this subject lightly...One Sunday night after the service, a week after I gave my testimony about Haiti, a gentleman wanted to talk with James and I. I was standing with friends, making plans for our regular Sunday night coffee, and this gentleman was standing over the side, obviously wanting to speak with me. I immediately gave him my attention, and what he had to say, blew my mind. (Mind you, the previous week, I had asked God to throw the answer I was looking for in my lap...God if you want me to step out of this boat, and into the water of the unknown-Give me an answer. A billboard? Phone call? LOL...I was seriously praying specifically-If you want me to give up nursing, and jump 100% into photography. Tell me. I need to know) This gentleman, I have never spoken to before. I have seen him in church before, but didn't even know his name. He said, "Cassie, I know you don't know me, and you may think this is crazy. But the Lord has layed something on my heart-ever since I heard your testimony last week, about you feeling God leading you out of nursing...I can't get you out of my mind. This is just something for you to pray about. Talk with James about. Consider. But, I have this house, that is empty, and has been for 3 years. I have tried to sell it and haven't been able to, and I want to know if you would be interested in using it for your photography business?" Really. Is this my Billboard? But then the human side of me thinks, this is too good to be true. People aren't this way. There aren't random "empty houses" sitting around, I don't know this man, Why would he do something like this?, I thank him for his offer, tell him we will pray about it, and go on our way...

James and I spent the next two days talking about this, praying about it, truly feeling that God is in it. We had actually been looking at a few places to consider renting for a studio/viewing area...We have lots of ideas. James is wanting to make some pictures frames for me (that are absolutely beautiful, by the way) and we are hoping to incorporate those into our business....Ideas. Ideas. Ideas. I have papers full of stuff that I have thought of since I have began praying specifically. So we decide to call this genteman and talk "details". James talks with him for a good hour, he gives us the address, and the key, we plug the address into our GPS, and head that way. It's not the "location" I would choose, but I am learning everyday that God's plan is WAY better than mine. I just have to be sure to keep HIM in the center of EVERY desicion...We pull into the driveway. James and I look at each other. AMAZED. Why would it be anything else? I prayed for something. God answers. Why would I expect anything less? Not sure. But I immediately felt His prescence. This is it. Do it. I will be with you the entire way. Words can't express. I am even teary-eyed while I am typing this. One more thing, and I will wrap this mini novel up....We are looking inside the house, checking out "things" like paint, talking "business" so to speak, and I walk into the very back room of the house. The one that would need the most work. Wallpaper peeling, ect. This house is empty mind you. Nothing in it. Zilch. Zero. But in this very back room, there is one thing. Are you ready for this? Get ready, because it is amazing. The one thing that is in this house is......a tripod.....A camera tripod!!! I yelled at James to come look at the room I was standing it...and he said, "Is that what I think it is?"...We both took that as yet another confirmation that we are in God's will....
So, to make a very long story short. (if you ask me to tell you about it in person-I would love to =) We have looked at the house two times. Took my parents to look at it. We feel that's where God wants this Business...HIS business...Because I am giving it to Him. My entire heart has changed about photography. When I look through the lens of the camera, I want to see people as He sees them. I want to capture what He sees. He LOVES us. He died for us, and I just want to share that with as many people as I can. If photographing their families gives me a way to do that. I am on board! =)

So, We met with this gentleman this past week. He doesn't have a plan specifically. We don't either. It's in God's hands. But we have an agreement. I am excited. I am scared, because fear of the unknown is human.  Bills still have to be paid, life must go on...But to know that I am in HIS will...after all of these years of fighting it...Peace...=)  But I know that God is with us, my husband supports me, and believes in me. So we are going for it!

One thing I want to add, and then I am finished for now...It didn't hit us until sometime this past week....The gentleman that has made us this offer, had no idea that I was going to change the name of my business to His Eyes Photography. This man is legally blind. We serve an amazing God.
Amazing graceHow sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine
You are forever mine