As I walked out of the Pastor's office, I had a number of messages on my phone. First and foremost I needed to call the State Representative's office. The pastor had advised me to call them to help get my passport expedited more quickly. So I called-spoke with a lady who told me the office was getting ready to close, but I could come by at 8am the next day. Hmmmm. I had to work the next day-and with the job I do, I have to get there at 530. With all this on my mind, I began to scroll through the list of messages, texts ect that were on my phone. There was one from my boss...that said for me not to worry about coming in to work until 9 am. The patient census was low the next morning, and she wouldn't need me until that time. Seriously? I started crying right there in the car. I mean, I had prayed if God wanted me to go on this trip, that he work it out...and one step at a time, he is working it out. So, the next morning, I drop the kids off at school, go to Walgreens-get my passport pictures made, go to State Representative's office, then to the Law Court-everything I needed to get a passport done and turned in-in a matter of 45 minutes.....Pulled into the parking garage at Wellmont-08:57-Amazed.
I continually have been dealing with some emotional things concerning this trip. I know it is God's will, but I also can't help the "human" nature of feeling guilty for being away from my kids on Christmas....I know that they understand. Especially the older two, but Cade has been struggling a little bit. One night we had a talk about it, and he gets it-he just wants me here too. Understandably. Fast forward a day or two-I'm driving to work, Christmas music on the radio-gets me. Five o clock in the morning, crying on the way to work because of having to leave the kids. I decided to pray (something I have done more of the past few weeks than in quite some time) Lord, if you are in this-which I know you are-then give me a peace. I need to know that this is your will. I don't want to keep having doubts, or fears-I simply want to know a peace about this desicion. The following song started playing on the radio. Chris Tomlin's "I will rise"-The first words are....There's a peace I come to know, though my heart and flesh may fail. There's an anchor for my soul, I can say it is well...." There was my answer. Some may not get it, but it was as plain as day for me. Here again, I stand amazed.
Later the same day at work, I recieved a phone call from one of the girls who is going on this trip with me. She had some news. Haiti has certain regulations about flying. Not sure of the specifics-just know that Samaritan's Purse had contacted her and said that they couldn't fly us in on Christmas day-it would have to be on December 27-Was that ok....Ok, the only thing that was really emotionally holding me back-leaving my family on a holiday-that obstacle was removed. My God works in amazing ways. I can't even begin to tell you details of how is hand has been in every step of the journey so far. The things I am blogging about are just the ones that stand out to me. I think back to the Bible, Abraham was told to take his son, and offer him as a sacrifice. He asked no questions, he acted out in obedience. I am sure he wondered why? But he knew that he had to do what God asked of him. So he did. But God stopped him. He rewarded him due to his act of obedience. Some of you may think I am crazy, but I feel like this is along the same lines. Going to Haiti on Christmas day was a "sacrifice" to me. I decided to do it-because God told me to. Still questioning why in the back of my mind. But knowing that God's plan is beyond anything I can fathom. And wanting to be in His Will....Obedience. The phone call I recieved that day, was God saying-Thank you for being obedient, willing to sacrifice your holiday with your family. I want you to go on December 27. So December 27 is the day we are leaving. God has something big in store. I am so excited to be a part of it. The smiles on my kids faces when I shared this story with them. Priceless. Mommy will be here on Christmas day-plus get to share Jesus with those who are lost and dying in Haiti. God is Good. All the time. =)