I have thought about doing this again, and have put it off for quite some time....but decided tonight that I think I am going to take the leap....and blog again....I decided to make some changes, create a new blog, new link, ect. Was getting lots of "spam" comments, ect on my old site....so here we go, a fresh start....I won't delete my old site, lots of great blogging there....just ready for a new beginning....in the blogging world =)
I have had a lot on my mind lately-and really want to get it all down...God has been working in my heart and my life. I am still amazed when I think about all of the different ways I have felt His presence in the past few weeks.....I am going to try to write it in detail from the beginning....for me...not for anyone else. I just want to remember all of this in the years to come....God is Good. All the time.
A few weeks ago, I begin to be burdened. Wasn't really sure about what. I have had this feeling for quite some time that God wants me to go somewhere. Somewhere other than Kingsport. I was thinking that this was related to Macey's career-We went to LA for Fall Break to help Macey "follow" her dream. She interviewed with 2 agents, did really well, and actually signed with Rage Talent. God's hand has been in Macey's career from the very beginning. I do think that this trip was a blessing to our family. Great time together, exploring another part of our country-but there is still a void.
Could God really want me to do missions? I kept having this feeling, but also kept pushing back because I didn't see how this really could be what He would want for me. I mean, I don't have any money for a trip, I have 3 kids, and can't possibly leave them, I have a job, and a schedule, and a husband....the list of "excuses" went on and on.....Just sort of ignored this feeling and went on with my daily life....
One Sunday morning, the sermon really hit home. I am not sure of the details of the service. All I know is God spoke to me. He wants me to do missions. I decided to go to the altar, and pray about it. Lord, if this is what you want for me-show me-open my eyes. Two days later, yes, TWO days later, I recieve a phone call from a friend, who has an opportunity to go to Haiti with Samaritan's Purse-and wants to know if I would be interested. Ok, Lord, seriously? Well, of course I would...what are the details. First, this trip would be completely free....AND we would be leaving on Christmas Day....Hmmm...The free part is amazing, but leaving on Christmas? I don't know. I have kids, and they need me home with them....It is a holiday, a Christian holiday at that...Why would I need to go on this trip on Christmas? I told my friend I would pray about it-thinking the dates simply don't work for me. Plain and Simple. Who goes on a Mission trip on Christmas?
Well, God opened my eyes to my selfishness pretty quickly. Following Him on my terms isn't what he wants. He wants complete obedience. On his terms. He sacrificed His son, His ONLY son, for me. and you. for all of us. He wants me to go, and He wants me to go on Christmas. So, I decided to go speak with my pastor. Told him my concerns. Cried. Prayed. Knew the answer when I left his office. I am to go to Haiti. (to be continued)